discombobulated

I'm confused and sometimes frustrated with the people around me. A lot to touch on that and so I'll pass. My memory is getting irritating because its getting worse. Can't be bothered to touch on that either. I'm frustrated for having the need to keep up with things. Can't I just live my own private life? To prevent misunderstanding and such, i shall stop here. nights.


----------------
Now playing: "Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me" - The Smiths
via FoxyTunes

involves banging the wall

I've always got this interest, to be a interior decorator, using old stuffs, mod them up into new things. You know, like this show "Debbie Travis Facelift". I'ld also would want to make a book, a compilation of art work, making layouts, creating feels for the book, filled with street art, graphics, vectors, vandalism, political stencils (my fav!) etc etc. I may also want to create a kick ass website for uhmm something related to design but yet to learn more on that tho. I would like to be a pro in everything that i would want to but i got a very lazy and undisciplined ass. (y)

nothing much recently, found out that im gonna be busy with school. im still having problems waking up in the morning on wednesdays onwards. china is confirmed but theres still alot more to be settle. still working on tstv's new track, when im free. lappy is lagging, leading me to a hyper temperamental mood which involves banging the wall and throwing the mouse to the wall.

and im thinking bout changing this layout again. nevermind! there shall always be something to mark some other event, and that, will be my deadline to that something, something that im not sure of.

62

Failure, the last time I experienced failure was when I had to stay back one year for my religious class because I was weak in certain subjects. That was around primary school. I did not count those typical class test fails and such, only those big deal thingys because to me, its like a menial threat. After having to repeat that class, I made a vow to myself not to fail in anything big for as long as I lived. God bless, I've never had such experience ever again except only recently.

I was sitting listening (okay maybe eavesdropping) to the two person sitting on the opposite side. Turns out, the lady's birthday is tomorrow, and she had just passed her traffic police test. I felt happy for her. Serious, like happy happy, not just plain happy. I mean, license just before your birthday?! What do you think. Great or what!

Then, quickly after that, my tester came in. That f***face, act fierce in front of me acting like an anti social. He sat, told me obvious things about my driving and then walked off. Nothing comforting. 32pts. Right.. 12pts exceeding the maximum. andddd i wassss liikkkeee FUCK! FML FFS! Seriously, I felt like getting myself wasted, go out there messing with people's life and then jump off a building. I was driving like a rally racer before 2010 arrive (aiseyman but serious), I've spent like 1.6K on practical lessons, I've never failed in any practical tests for that matter, this is fully practical and 32 points?! Like seriously? No chances? :(

My instructor on friday told me that certain testers are spot on. Well I guessed I wasn't in top form today and by luck, got that "spot on" tester. For a moment there, I felt like droping the whole idea of driving. But no, I shall finish what I've started, even if it means I will have to take a longer time.

Change topic! When picktureyou.bs started out, it was meant for a photoblog. Until when I discovered that blogspot had a upload limit. So i dropped to topic and intend to make it a blog for happy thoughts and beautiful wonders. But instead, I vent my anger through here. But I'm not an angry person in life. Thinking about this made me think about habits. I failed because of habits. I am who I am now because of habits. But if I want to change one habit, there's a whole lot more I would love to change. Will it turn me into a whole another person? hmm i wonder i wonder..



----------------
Now playing: Albert Hammond, Jr. - GfC
via FoxyTunes

im not myself am i?

-end feb till early march, exams.
-lab tests this week and after cny
-quizzes, yet to revise
-silkscreen, yet to work on it
-soccer and skate, irresistible
-tp test, cold shivers
-assignments submission
-settle recording
-chances of private gig? not ready
-i still think i cant sing
-pokka teas makes me shit easy
-blue screen of death twice, now ok
-dealing things one at a time, no,
-not dealing anything at all
-long hair helps in keeping warm
-to cut, or to keep?
-i still think pus is like orgasm
-i still love 2008, early 2008



----------------
Now playing: Hot Hot Heat - Rehab Amy Winehouse Cover
via FoxyTunes

around 0540hr in the park

We sat at the stairs to rest and talk about where we were actually heading to. We lie down on our back, looking at the reddish sky. No obstruction, just clouds and star. Sadly the stars are disappearing slowly. The clouds looked so low as such that we could reach it just by going up to the roof of some nearby estate and touch it, if there is even one. The clouds moving faster than usual, as though we were watching it in fast forward. The wind from the sea so soothing, it kept us calm.

My mind was still in a giddy state due to lack of sleep. Slowly drifting away, a friend then speaks about how wonderful would it be if we were to be here with someone special and just mesmerise about everything. I tried recollecting but no, I've accepted that time have passed, people changed, people moved on and I shall too.





----------------
Now playing: Quasimodo - And She Said
via FoxyTunes

15, that's the digit written in red ink on the paper. The overall marks? 100. That's what I've gotten for math. shit shit shit. better buck up! I wanna do some work but I'm always drained out everyday. And considering the amount of time that I have till the end of year exams plus the assignments and other stuffs that I must attend to, I'm picturing myself studying all the time, which is a matter of fact, is not true.

its either i put up a considerably tight timetable or put aside everything else cos that everything else takes up alot of time.

utter excitement

lets just say this song brings back awesome memories to whatever the hell that we were doing during that period of time and also how the hell did i get myself into this particular mess.

i've got till friday to think about whether to go to cina mainland to do oitp or moneymakinglion city for itp. dawg!

contemplations

The current infatuation and social interventions, well does it really matter much? I've decided to ignore but not too much that I would be procrastinating too much or maybe even running away from it. Everybody's keeping quiet but that doesn't mean nobody knows what is happening.

Contemplations. Looking at chicks is meaningless. Ask me why? What do you do? Just look right? Then what? Nothing. All this while, to me, JRFC isnt a team. Its just a group of guys getting together to play soccer in the field. I don't feel the team spirit. Even music is becoming a hassle. Skateboarding is tiring and once you get tired, you can't do anything much. By the time, you're back to bored. I thinking about going back to sketchbooks, putting illustrator and photoshop aside. I am having a degrading creative thinking skill. fuck me.

"its time to stop doodling around and start to write some story in my life" - quoted from my cousin.

click!

i cant believe i spent hours on customising my Firefox! It all started off when I tried to download Safari. IT WAS NICE! But I still wanna stick to firefox, i dont know why. why ah? And so, i spent hours finding add-ons to make it work and feel alittle like safari. So i downloaded..

Speed Dial, like how Safari's "Top Site" page or "Google Chrome" page works, Foxdie which is a theme that mimics Safari, Combine Stop-Reload Buttons which is like a function in Safari, whereby when your page is loading, the button shows "stop" and when loaded, it changes to "reload" and Fission which allows the url bar to act as a status bar as well..

I hope i can find something on changing the ugly Start button on the taskbar. Anw, do click to have a proper look if you would like to.

nowwwww... projects, and projects. and i mean school, nothing laughable.

ro sham bo

log into facebook, and view this! At the same time, do add up Chaos Circus and also not forgetting their new site! But do check out the vid first. heh hehhhh. one whole day of sweat, work and injuries. incase youre scared to click on the link (for people like me), dont worry. its the skate video that i talked about in my few previous post. (:

bedroom studio

we could just give up so easily but yet we hang on. we've gone too far to stop now but yet too far to carry on any longer. whatever it is, i'm still sticking to it, until there is a strong reason to go otherwise.

lets just keep things simple can we?

chillout!

i was thinking of spending one whole day just doing....

- making music, proper music and corrections on the old ones. or
- skate all day trying out new weird stuffs without the feeling of being tired. or
- the whole day with multiple lomo cameras without financial worries. or
- a day at somewhere where there is full of nature, having a picnic or something. or
- being alone taking it as a rehabilitation or reflection. or
- working in a design "feel" environment.

yeah keep on daydreaming. cos im all think, less action, no talk.

fml?

im tired of my brain telling me stuffs cheating my feelings playing with my heart and soul.
i dont want it but i need it. wth

on another note, Japanese are pretty good and cool with things arent they? my impression of Fixies changed once i saw this vid, vid by Japanese of course.

First Blog Post Of 2010

And so, I went window shopping with my family around orchard just now. Its nice being around with your family spending time together. However, its not nice when your own mood changes because of what you perceive on the surroundings.

I've checked out several stores and i realised one thing. i dont believe in spending too much money on something that looks cheaper or is cheaper somewhere else than its price stated in that particular shop. So what if it is those high class brands? "Fuck off" i'ld tell those word to those money making swindles. Its just pieces of cloths, you could be sewing them together with some cheap thread, and then sell it at hundreds? Wtf? Value they say? Yeah right. People elsewhere are starving and there you are, unnecessary profits all kept to yourself.

I really have to save up if I want to buy those clothes that I want for real. But to achieve that? I'll have to work. But no, its uncomfortable for me to work while studying. Trust me, I could get carried away easily with work but not studies. Why do I stress on shopping? Cos I'ld be dressing up like a ultra slacker to school and basically everywhere I go, including town, the place where people would dress up nicely regardless of age or race. Maybe what my friend told me is still true. he said "When you enter poly, you'll realise that you can easily differentiate a guy from EEE and frm School OF Design." Hell yeah he is true to not some but most extent.

And oh! I saw alot of "Chinese" people speaking in Malay. NOT! They looked like pure Chinese but no, they are Indonesian Chinese. and they are seemingly the majority at town just now, second to real chinese. I dont know. HAHA.

Last night i thought of something and ending it with "FML!". I'd bet it'd be interesting. Too bad its out of my head thanks to STM.

Cheers!