bagaikan ular dimakan orang

i gotta crack my brain till like what? END OF FEB!? Not bad eh cos i've been like *wake up, bathe, "on" lappy and do work all the way* for the past 4 days and im kindda wear out. I've never seen my eyebags before. well maybe its time i do -.-"

i'll be away from blogs and all the social network sites cos i'll be friggin BUSY. and so, you can expect non-replied tags and less or not a single posts or updates.

p.s. afew more anonymous tags and i'll be taking drastic measures. thanks.

when insomnia strikes again

okay today was okay. woke up in the morning despite sleeping at arnd 2, something which i dont always do. soccer at boon keng at arnd 1 plus and it was frigging hot. played, got myself weared out, ate, relaxed, went home to do some little parts of assignment, got sleepy at 2am and went for bed. ONLY TO FIND OUT that i woke up at 3 50plus and cant get back to sleep. *roll eyes* i must really find out how my body works eh.

anyway, the above song has been stuck in my head for a few days already. maybe the instrumentation. and yeahh i'ld like to have gig like that! where there is flashing syncronised lights yeah.

i should be studying now

my msn dp

photoshop lesson, not listening.

as the title suggested, i got hell lots to catch up on and heavy workload to finish off before CNY. (woahhh the last cny seemed only like ytd). and like any other weds to fri nights, im weared out, meaning none of the work would get going. sad, but honestly pathetic if i were to look at myself. i just cant find words to describe this feeling, perception, and thought about myself. i dont want to be worldly or lying to myself.

on wednesday, DICT got a briefing on the 2nd year option. i wanna go Web Tech and Services, but some of the people who im closer to in class are going Broadband Security Services. i wanna WTS because its related to what im likely to be interested in which is web page design, applications etc but its more of the programing stuffs. The BSS option is more of the server and network infratructure and stuffs and more of the hardware. both are quite promising for the future thats what i know. maybe i'll read up more or see which is easier to study and then decide. a thought makes me wanna ask everyone in dict where they wanna go and i'll choose the option where there are friendlier and "people of my type" that sorta thing. well anyway, i'll surely treasure the moments that we had gone through.
from the first time hong fa(g) talked to me as the first person in the class to be talking to me to the moment where andy, joey and me got the first A+ in our poly lives for a data comms practical just because we were the first group to finish! awwww its been a year and its ending soon. i know theres no need to be happy because work will nvr end. they just pause. i'll think, i'll consider.

like an insect in a pitcher plant.

banner to show that "im doing work"
during web publishing just now

im overdrawn, im worried about what im doing up in the witching hour. i 've brought myself to get some sleep but somehow i cant. (wow, that one cup of coffee seemed to be powerful afterall). now, back to my laptop trying to see if there's anything that i can touch on. i'll be very busy these few weeks and (hopefully) i'll stay at home completing and revising. but then again as always, things dont turn out as i want it to be. there's no use complaining and talking about it if i dont work on it. i got somethings in mind and hope not to lose it. lose? yes, i've been in a very forgetfull state.

Lin Hong Fa, my group's character development module chong, told me to send him my reflection on our CIP project which is under "Project Rice". this is what i wrote just incase you're bored and willing to read. just hope that he won't edit it.

my reflection on CIP
i believe that by doing cip, whether sincerely or not sincerely,would make us aware of the people around us. people who need our help and people who can help. doing cip has certainly pulled us down to a level that everyone is equal, where the rich helped the poor and the poor would get what they need to help themselves to improve.it helps us to raise awareness among the community and build care, concern and helpfulness amongst people.We dont need to be big or really comfortable in order to help. all we need is the thought, the effort and the time and we could already be helping. for the "Project Rice", i realised majority of the people that attend to us are really generous in helping the needy.the ones who are living comfortably, the ones with moderate living, the ones that are busy and even the ones who are having quarrels at that moment did thier part in contributing. it make me realise that people are aware of the needy around and are really generous enough to be contributing even 10kg/++ of quality rice pack. i feel that it might be the rice from thier bonuses, the fact that chinese new year is coming and that it might bring luck to them, or just simply care and concern. i realise that by doing this, we are actually allowing people to be lacking of initiative and effort. we had to go house by house and then they'll contribute. if we are to set up a booth at the void deck, how many people would actually come down to give? we come to thier house, they might have "mistakenly" opened up thier door, and realised that its just rice, something that we, Singaporeans, eat everyday. they might feel that we are really expecting rice and may just give it just to leave the impression on them.on the other hand, i realise that this cip has certainly improve the bonding between my classmate and i because we were helping each other out. also basically the fact that we dont mingle around with the other groups very much.the workload wasnt very light either. a conclusion, it makes us students more aware about what is happening among the society. the needy feels supported and also the sense of humanity among the donor.

im planning to say this even if it put my grades in a risk. yea thats all. time check, 3:35am and still checking

second

by arep
but amir's cam & roll

sorry for the second post but wtv anw. first, i'ld like to promote this online dictionary i've been using since sec sch. urbandictionary there's slangs, vulgars, typical dictionary words, some underground knowledge plus! shortforms too! but the only thing is that it is YOU who can submit the word. which basically means a cut of point for its credibility.

okayy what i wanna say... well, i really really hope that my lifestyle can get back to what it used to be. where i've got all the time to play around with photoshop, all the time to attend to my things, when i can skate anytime(well now maybe not skate but i want that free time), where studying isnt a heavy/hard task, where im in track of what im studying, where i am controled but i dont complain. well i know that its all about self control/discipline but what the heck! yes, i dont have it with me. i need to build that back up again. ahh like we all always say, "susah eh!"(difficult ah!).

i'll have a very good thought over it and really2 try my best to figure this out. bless me.

tetttttttttttt

some old pic of me

to lie to myself that everything so far isnt a mistake would make me an escapist. i wouldnt want to be that. i'ld like to be an exhibitor(not too much of an exhibitionist tho because i wouldnt like that), to be sharing but to only people who cared. but the bloody problem is the bloody bucks, bloody time and bloody activities that i would not even care for. this is a random thought that is not related to any event, but perhaps my workload. its just a thought. yes, those types where you sit down quietly and something just poped up. ah... that.

strawberry blonde

You're the matador and I'm the bull
You're the brass key hole I fit into
You're the wind and I'm the weathervane
You're the strawberry blonde and I'm the grey
You're the light and I am the firefly

You're the star and I am the blackened sky

Tell me, yeah, sing your song
For my lonely soul
Tell me you sing your song
For my lonely soul

If we find the light and turn it into ourselves
They will hunt us down like animals
In the morning clouds will cover you, oh well
In the afternoon the sun is yours

Find the lion deep inside your heart

Stroke by stroke
You fill my empty soul with colour


i dont know about you but somehow, by picturing and imagining, i felt that the lyrics to this song is rather sentimental, sweet and lovely. it depicts some things that must be together in order to work but ended up being separated. the second verse depicts the struggle for freedom and that every little opportunity is taken, in search of our hearts' strong desires and courage. and that you are the one who is slowly enriching my life. i really like the idea of the first verse! in terms of musicianship, the arrangement were suitable and im lazy to elaborate on it now. enjoys!

self reminder

im posting this in hope that it may somehow remind me to get back to work... sorry if its way too unrelated to you (:

webP
Assignment 2: Personal Website - 40%WEBP Assignment 2_Personal Website.doc (70 Kb)
Deliverables
You are to submit your completed work on a CDROM. This should include all your raw files. Eg. Psd, ai, jpg, png etc.. You may share the cdrom with your classmates.
Submission Date
Deadline for submission:26/01/09(Monday), 1700hrs at DMIT drop box (Blk 19, level 4, in the office.)
tutorial 5 to 8 (and still counting)

OC
outline
written test
indiv presentation

FA
presentation

CD
cip
cip presentation
MATH
revise for quizes and tests
PBL

COMP HARDWARE
quiz 5
assignment 2



and i gotta loads of movies taken from my friends and have yet to be watched. ARHG

new look ah boy?

after some tweaking of some of my old blogskin, i've came up with this. TAHDAH! well not the best layout ever i guess. but what the heck anyway. just hope that it wont be an eyesore to you all. somehow i cant access youtube at the moment and so i hope that its really2 youtube problem and not my coding problems. ah yeah currently im damm interested in Estrella. and last time, my manager told me that its hard to find youths of my age to be listening to jazz. heh. individual i guess.. and just now was one of the best jamming session ever! depending on the place plus energy level i guess. ok i better get enough sleep. so bb.

OH okayy

apologies for the previous post. i guessed ive allowed my anger to go too far to an extent that i started to compile every little things and exaggerate it when it is just a small matter. well i guess this is what happens when youre not thinking straight. and yea at some point maybe this is what they called youth. where everyone is wrong and youre right. well i dont give a damn either.

runsing

praktica
era100bw

irregular sleeping hours, not been eating properly, short tempered, feeding myself with coffee everynight. i still wonder what really eats up my time so easily. and its not that i've been working very hard. i've got hell loads of stuffs to settle.

im gonna send this msg obscurely. only one or two of the people related might read but wth anyway. k starts after this dot.
ive been studying everyone's actions and movements. at times where we need to be serious, energetic and enthuthiastic, you'll leave it to me or be a slack. the problem is that i dont want to lead. in this kindda area, i believe that every individual plays a part. it wasnt me who set this up. it wasnt meant to be a one man show. you'll just leave your indecisiveness to me. nobody takes intiative. nobody wants to say anything. you'ld expect me to know everything when you didnt say anything in the first place. i need your participation, not just be part of it. looking at such attitude doesnt make me wonder if you cared but only makes me not wanting to care. i dont want us just to play but to perform, eventhough if its practice. ive been trying to stress this and yet youre envy and jealous about others who are in the same interest. thats is why i dont really care if someone else succeed. because what i believe is that we can succeed now if we want to. but its your character and our status that doesnt deserve to receive such luxury yet. you know even if theres a mistake you'll just happily have one take and say youre done, when we should be aiming for perfection. nobody's perfect but that doesnt mean you dont need to try to make everything atleast seemingly perfect. i know that each of us has a role to play already but wtfh, youre treating it as if you'll only attend to it only if youre bored. im taking this as a career, not just a hobby or interest. this is so because i wanna go far, even if it means im married or something. and yes you said that too dont you? but you just cant stick to it right. you'ld rather do something else eventhough you know that we really need to spend more time together. now i just wanna leave everything to you guys and see where we are leading. im gonna act like you now, yes, by saying "ape2 ah" or "anything ah" and "maybe ah" all the time.

ERA100bw
PRACKTICA

an angry, tiresome young gentleman just waiting to burst into a sudden surge of an energetic and enigmatic fury for all that he ever cared for. what he want and what he need all seemingly unachiveable and theres no one else to blame because it is he who is his own enemy. his actions that could affect alot of other decisions and future potential outcomes. but under certain circumstances, it is the people around him that makes up his weak point. all the demoralising and unsatisfactory comments and faces of the people that he should be able to talk to. its not only his targets that he is trying to achieve but also acceptance, understanding and basically putting everything, yes including the house, into place. now laying down all curled up on the bed, as if mimicking a drug addict, grabing on to his own body very tightly, hearing unknown voices, talking, making him more indecisive.

i want to strive. i'ld like to. want and like. i want to reach the "want" and free myself from the "would like". and im sick of things. going out kindda eats up lots of time. sitting infront of lappy for hours makes me feel like punching myself in the head and bleed it when my head reaches the wall. and also im bored of the guitar. its always caught up between these 3. I WANT CONTROL! perhaps its time to stop pampering others and be the other side of me? the one that is undesirable. or maybe its that im going too far without realising it.

prance

by sahlansahlan

for a moment there, i feel like wanting to be in my own world, not caring and knowing what people around are doing and leave myself to: myself, doing things i wanted while not having to worry about a single person.. hmm can i live that way?

and theres this morning when something happened and thats when i realised that im powerless, relatively useless and all because of myself, being a slack at the time where i can make a significant difference in both positive and negative outcome. wtfh....

im planning to change my layout again anytime soon which is most prolly in the next 2 or 3 weeks IF POSSIBLE.